1. |
Goliath
05:29
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Glaring down from the dead fig tree
Feeding on the rot
They stare back with militant eyes through a grayscale spectrum
They say, "Ain't that neighbor no friend of mine"
We’ve reached bottom only to find
Corrosion burning up the tree
Don’t wanna see past their name
Hunting, writhing
Snort your reflection
Get high off your horses
Denying
Those deciding
You’re not hiding anymore
We dance, defiant, despite this place
We dance, so vibrant, transcend your gaze
But your hand moves with just mine
And your scars were traced with the same lines
Still the difference seems so clear
You are there and I am here
This god-fearing reflex -
smites them down to the pavement
and in their image, you catch a piece of yourself that you have always hated
With torches in their palms lit, the mob surrounds, transfixed on their crucifixion
Kinda hard to extend a hand when it’s nailed to a cell phone
Bystanders gather round to see them stoned and feast on their limbs
Hung, drawn, and quartered in the street
Higher chimp, now give me a glimpse
through this one-way transphobic mirror staring back at yourself
A primal monolith of dominance,
black, reflecting back at the mass
And how do they know who you are?
Part of your “pretentious high-goddamn-art?”
Making sure you don’t walk alone
Cuz they’ll club you down with a femur bone like a fucking ape
Attack a beauty they do not excuse in their tribe
Can you feel their hand of God drag you out of that bathroom?
Can you prove to them your existence is real?
Philosophize and actualize your flesh -
Can you prove to them that you can feel?
The skeptic in them is never quenched
and when you step on this turf
you put your wounds in their hands and they clench
Your blood pours out
your blood pours out
your blood pours out
into the cupped palm of their God
He drinks from you
He drinks of you
Goliath will fall
Goliath will fall far from this tree
Do you need what I am not?
Would you believe in all I am?
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2. |
Mayfly
04:13
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What am I to create with my dead time?
Progressive sober caricature, surely
The shape of sin
Easy escape route
Creative thief
My nails chip as I scratch at your obsidian
Tomorrow was another day
Chemical death of my imagination
I can feel you dragged out for years to come
Hallucinated truth
the bird and its perch
If God is good,
God could be better
Befriending the flies
that kept me company and comfort
through this monastic silence
Twenty-four hour life spans
and I can’t help but weep for their husks
I want so badly to love your Jesus Christ
The slingshot orgasm that shock rockets
through the blacked-out night
Waking up vulnerable
and wanting to give my whole body to something else
Chemical death of my imagination
I can feel you dragged out for years to come
Hallucinated truth
The worm and its dirt
Never not nothing
No!
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3. |
Pineapple King
06:01
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Crave the rot in my oak
The truffles up in smoke
A smolder in a torched home
Where I can see the stars whenever, toasted amber levers
Reveling rooms smell of rotting wombs
Such a joke, twacked in the back
It might as well be a panic attack
When the muscles relax
and I return
When the static calls to me
Will I call back
Will I crawl back to the dirt?
I’ve clawed for so long
Collecting all my nerves
Eating up a curse
Please don’t say a thing
I’ll do whatever I can
The pineapple demands
Using all my time and teeth
Through the passionate reprimands
It’s ivy running up that spine
Suddenly your contempt becomes all mine
When the pupils contract
And I return
When the moonlight calls to me
Will I call back?
Will I crawl back to the end?
I’ve clawed for so long
Collecting all my nerves
Eating up a curse
Please don’t say a thing
In due time, I’ll find
My way is but my own
I’ve found all my bones
Can you say the same?
Do you ever find yourself coming cold?
Frozen pies until they’re finally sold?
Snow bird phases piloted by broken sun
But the full moon mood’s too much of a bitch to smack it one
And what pill may be right for me?
What can the doctor prescribe
My mental health through your educated
I just want to be free
I can’t see past my feet
I just want to be human again
But still, you’ve got that opium drawl
Clinically sane, yet lacking the gall
As you spin your wheels til my eyes are drained
(And I'll hide away)
your blood in the grail will ripple
so we don’t see each other crippled
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4. |
Opulence
05:28
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Digging deep
Lungs to keep
With some grit in my boar's teeth
Feign wood stained
82.5% grain
Simple Greek-looking geek
Innate creak in my bones
Bleached satisfaction in action alone
Inaction is shown
Just a bit too close to home
Grin like a Swedish wet dream
Glean what you need
From this glossy sheen, 'cause
Donny T’s ceiling
Has more acute feeling
Even when kneeling
Witnessing his sweaty dick dealings
Even during bleak, white mountain peaks
Got your nose sneering
I am not over the moon
But that sure as hell feels like the move
I pray you're somewhere
Up there, guest bedroom care
Tucked into God's top bunk
I am a plastic bag drifting
(Somewhere up there)
In open ocean like a man of war
(Mormon affair)
Prometheus,
You take the time to feast your eyes
(Guest bedroom care)
Before you dive right into me
You exhale your petty wrath
In search of something that swings right
Oh, you may call me a dreamer, I’ll make it last
I’ll get it right one of these days
Relapse
Be glass
Be aware
In the grass
Tiger’s blood, but without the tiger
Take the time to dredge
Through the cathedral and carnage
Skip the Alamo
And with the trauma to go
And alas,
Your towering flesh did it without the big guy upstairs
Over the moon
I pray you’re somewhere up there
Feels like the move
I pray you’re somewhere up there
Counting the times the ceiling fan will spin on by me
In these sheets that drown ambition
'Cause I am chained to everything I tried to leave behind
Tied to the bed that I’ve made
Maybe it’s what was always right there in front of me
The weight of depression, no
I think the sheep are gonna grow bored of me in this catatonic resolution
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5. |
Vibe Check
04:48
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When you wake
Bring back the night
Hospital lights
Fourth of July
And anesthetized
Fireworks inside your little hell of white
Three pills tonight
Shoot em back, just fine
Forget the time
Burn out your mind
And we’re all dying to see you laugh
I need to hide inside
(Sacrificial defense)
Defend my pride away from other eyes
(Lizard losing limbs)
By my teeth I might abide
(Treasures of my grief)
Can’t deny
It’s been a wild ride
(Wholly sealed in holy stone)
But now, I’m giving back my goodbyes
Verbally ashamed
My noose to the ocean, I want it all drained
Evaporating notion
Forgoing all the motions
It’s politicized
Gassing your kids in a cage
Rage rationalized
Disregarded in the haze
Theatrics in decay
Withering
As I sway
Thought I could give you more
By hiding away
Sunlight
Locked in my eyes
Hollowed
losing today
Moonlight
Eclipses my mind
Shadowed
Howling your name
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6. |
Nil 1
04:45
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The dogs we’ve left to die
This slate is a burial ground
With cataracts and cancer bound
I leave you to fetch your purpose
Eternal return
Until I throw it again
Feast of mange
Crawl underneath the porch
And know I will be alone
Like a child with a terminal affliction
Your burden is safe with me
I laugh at my own tragedy as I weep
Wrong place, wrong time, same story
This soil holds enough to feel held
Swallowed by the flowers of hell
Invisible hands shove my head into a burlap sack
With warm rope to hang above my God’s hole
Lay down, play dead, be a freak
That’s where I lost your touch, it must be
Otherwise I wouldn’t have a fucking clue
Not with these cards dealt
I swear on this grave, I’m afraid of the end
I’m afraid of the end
I want to show you something
A portal to nothing
Where Ronald Reagan can go suck a fucking
Capitalist cock
And stab the mirror
So we can see me clearer
Crystallized within my man-suit disguise
Blood intent
Jet fuel oil
Back in time
Superman style
With blood intent
And jet fuel oil
I’m back in time
In Superman style
Test drive, baby blue plutonium and
Old Misery burns
Futile noise never could have reached his enemies
How much money are they paying you to be here?
Embodiment of the fucking Antichrist
(But really though)
Epstein didn’t kill himself
(He was fucking murdered)
Fear and love have no place here
They’re obsolete
Kiddie porn dungeon
Fear, love
Fear, love
Fear, love
I’m just taking pills
Just my pills
Spear-chested, following a path I can change
Annihilation in the sky above the time weaver
Fourth dimension fabric tears the living receiver
Oh, as if my SATs
prepared me for this
Tell the doc I’m just
Taking the piss
At the clinic next to ground zero
Serving up deliverance
Come one, come all
Thoughts and prayers
Swallow your share
Got mine before
You don’t care
Came in first somewhere
Buried alive
Kept outside
New place to hide
Baby drop
Sweat shop
Hold me down so that I’ll never stop
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7. |
Nil 2
04:31
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Drowning
Dead-ends
Imagine
All is well
Cut me open
(Absurd love)
Show me what I need
(Turned stone)
Give my purpose
(Deathless scorn)
Over to deceit
(Predestined)
Leave my body
(Seducer)
Under all the rest
(My stranger)
Starting over
(The sweetest song)
Marching in distress
(In this chaos)
It’s over
You gotta know when to call it
Try harder
Lose sight of all that you know for what reason?
Take it back or lose it all
But did you ever have it?
Have you ever had?
Get a grip
Lose your soul
But if they made me do it
I'm the feast
Gilded in wisdom, cherished
Rotten beast
All my life, my four-leaf clover
A means to the end
We walk, together
All our days, together we walk to
We walk in this echo
In this echo we walk to
Nil
When deja vu brings closure
And my etchings fade away
This is my four leaf clover
And now there's nothing left to say
Nothing to say
All I've done (erased)
The Sun turns black
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8. |
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Dive deeper
Let the sun warm your blood
But only for a moment
Dive deeper
Let your grace hide you away
But only to save you
Dive deeper, my friend
Let the air fill your lungs
But only for a breath
And then dive deep again
You can’t dance here
Anymore
This was our home
Why must I leave you?
Where will I go?
Bleached with the dead snow
You could come with me
Sink here with me
Sink here with me
Sink here with me
I don’t want them
To find you
Banish me to the abyss
Conquered every kingdom come
Sink like detritus to the earth
Sing with me this siren song
Hark! The Dread Emperor
Hark! Swallowed by infinite water
Hark! Ever silent as the tomb
Hark! As you feast from my rotting womb
Dive deep
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The Ephemeral Phoenix, Arizona
The Ephemeral reside somewhere in the spaces and voids of heavy, alternative, progressive music. Both vulnerable and aggressive - at times, traumatized, at times, therapist - urgent and patient - casual but profound - crescendo only to decrescendo - life-affirming with sickness - the mental and the physical - pleading for introspection with social absurdism ... more
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